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Can you hear me now?

August 24, 2022 - 00:00
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By the time a person reaches my age, they’ve probably accumulated a significant number of pet peeves. I have one even bigger than hearing the word “sammich” and its people airing their personal business in public via their cellphone. For 60 minutes one day last week, I was supposed to be enjoying a much-needed relaxing pedicure, complete with a leg massage and spa music. Instead, for 45 of those 60 minutes I was trapped in the pedicure chair listening to another client discuss issues related to her 37-year-old daughter’s transfer from one psychiatric facility to another. She made no attempt to keep her voice down so a week later, I still remember her daughter’s fluctuating risk level of harm to herself and/or others and the names of the facilities and medical staff involved. TMI! And before you go there, don’t even think about shaming my “insensitivity” because I’ve been down that road as a teenager with my own mother! But my mother, while sane, taught me there are just some family matters that are personal and don’t need to be shared with total strangers. Believe it or not, there IS such a thing as cellphone etiquette. From Verizon to Emily Post, they all say the same thing – avoid talking about personal or confidential topics in a public place. Reader’s Digest calls them “cellular sins.” I’ve long credited May 31, 2000, the day “Survivor” aired, as the beginning of America’s abysmal decline in the manners department. Social media was the nail in the coffin, turning the utilitarian cellphone into an instrument of self-promotion and torture.

Now, I’m going to step on the toes of my geriatric friends. It seems that as we age, we become particularly attached to the speaker aspect of our cellphone. Maybe it’s because of hearing loss or we’ve become lazy. Not only that, many elderly cellphone users don’t know how to, or forget that they can, mute their phone. I think these particular pet peeves are why I absolutely love the 30-second Progressive Insurance commercials featuring the “Dr. Rick Parental Life Coach” series.

If you’re not familiar with them, Dr. Rick’s job is to help new homeowners from turning into their parents. In my favorite commercial, he takes three adults on a “field trip” to a home improvement store. One of the females is following along, talking loudly to someone on her cellphone saying, “I’M HAVING A BIG LUNCH AND JUST A SNACK FOR DINNER.” Dr. Rick uses the teaching moment by calmly asking, “We’re using a speakerphone in the store. Is that a good idea?”

My next favorite Dr. Rick is about a group of new homeowners preparing to go to the movies. Dr. Rick’s chalk talk features a cellphone drawing and instruction on how to silence their cellphone. The dialogue is as follows: Woman: “I don’t have silent.” Circling the mute button on the diagram, Dr. Rick says: “Everybody does. It’s right up here.” Woman breaks out in a big smile!

Apparently, I’m not the only one with a cellphone related pet peeve. The internet is full of quotes about disrespectful cellphone behavior ranging from date night to ordering food. I found one which I think is spot-on about our cellphone attachment - “I finally realized it. People are prisoners of their phones. That’s why they call them CELL phones.”

The column represents the thoughts and opinions of Connie Clements. Opinion columns are NOT the opinion of the Navasota Examiner. Clements is a freelance reporter for the Navasota Examiner and an award-winning columnist.