It is getting to be that time of year when the holiday parties are once again in full swing. Go to the party or don’t. That is your call but now more than ever, in this age of the “vid,” make good choices.
Life is more fun, of course, when you celebrate things (events, special occasions, etc.) with family and friends. If you decide to go out to the holiday parties this year, let me give you my own two-cents worth of advice on that subject.
Mine is a simple plan. To put it in a nutshell, arrive early and depart early. Here is my rationale for this plan. First and certainly not least, when you arrive early you will get one of the best parking spots. Save yourself that long walk down the block or, here locally, through the pasture. When you attend a holiday party and land a good parking spot, it is like getting a personalized gift just for you!
Arrive on time and you are guaranteed to receive one of the best greetings of the day. Hosts appreciate guests who are on time. They are so relieved that someone came, even if it is just you. Plus, your arrival confirms that there were no typos on the invites that went out.
The food is always fresher when you arrive early. It’s like being the first in line at an all-buffet restaurant. The hot is still hot; the cold is still cold. You’ll do best to get there before the little ones have had a chance to check out the food selection, to lick salt off the potato chips before placing them back in the chip bowl, or to touch and nibble on the desserts. Ah, children - precious and sticky little bundles of joy.
You can be the first to spark an interesting conversation, perhaps on the merits of remaking the cult film classic, “Top Gun.” Isn’t it a little soon for a remake? The producers felt “the need; the need for greed.” By virtue of being on time, you also get to scope out the best spot to watch the big game. Score!
The second half of this plan is to get out while the getting is good. If you are not a drinker (and I know you are not a drinker), bid adieu a little early and you can avoid the close talking and spit-riddled conversations that are common among those who over imbibe. You will not be included in the various embarrassing videos that are certain to be posted online the next day.
Aside from that, the goodbyes from the party hosts are most heartfelt when you are the first to depart. Something about you having to skedaddle will make you stand out. You are a person who has places to meet, things to go and people to do. So, what are you waiting on? Get out of there.
One other thing, and this is important. It is especially crucial to be on time to any parties being hosted by cannibals. If you are late, you could wind up getting the cold shoulder.
Johnny McNally is Grimes County’s Best Dressed Businessman advocating for Grimes County and writes a bi-weekly column for the Navasota Examiner.