Going Through Mom and Dad’s Stuff
Not too long ago I was blessed or tasked with the job of going through my parents’ papers and such. My Dad passed away many years ago when I was in high school, and my mom suffered a debilitating stroke during surgery and is bedridden with severe physical limitations. Being the oldest of my siblings is most likely why I was given this job, but I have been avoiding it for some time. When I finally found the time to take this on, I was more than surprised with what I found.
My Mom was and still is a collector of sorts. That’s probably where I get my desire to hold on to things. She rarely threw away anything and neither do I. Neither of us are hoarders by any stretch of the imagination, more like archivists of personal items. My Dad was pretty much the opposite, as near as I can tell. He was a university professor and had a good-sized collection ofbooks, but not so much in the way of personal things. My brother takes after him; if you don’t need it, get rid of it. Sometimes I wish I was more like them, but I digress.
It took me the better part of an afternoon just to get a handle on my mother’s things, but what I discovered was nothing less than pure gold. For instance, I found my baby book filled with lots of pictures of little ol’ me. If you would like to know what I looked like back then, just pick up a jar of Gerber Baby Food. I wasn’t their actual model, but Mom always said that I looked just like him. I also unearthed her technical training certificate that she earned after graduating from X-Ray school. In the 1950s this was pretty hightech I’ve been told. She was an X-Ray Technologist for over 40 years until she retired, which is another story in and of itself. Mom also kept cards, letters, outdated insurance papers, old bank books, and all kinds of newspaper clippings about family members. I also found some pictures of my Dad that I had not seen before. They were taken before they got married and I must say that he was a very handsome man. In spite of everything, maybe Ido take after him!
Looking through Dad’s stuff I found a copy of a book that he wrote and his rough draft for his doctoral dissertation. I like to write, but not that much! It was 210 pages! All type-written, of course. His work was used as a major source for another book that came out much later. There were also some 8 x 10 official photos of him taken in the U.S. Capitol while he was on the Senate floor arguing for the state of Mississippi to be the conservator of their Senator’s papers. He won and later was named as Curator of Special Collections at Mississippi State.
The dilemma that I ran across during this process was “What to keep? — What to throw away? — and What to share?”. I’m still working on this, but I did get rid of most of the letters and cards from people I never met. There was a preponderance of mailings expressing sympathy and condolences after my father’s death and they had to go. That actually felt good, but I kept just a few. The rest of is just paper, right? Or is it something more? There’s something to be said for keeping items to preserve a memory, but how many? I don’t have a good answer for that, and I almost pity the person who has to one day go through my stuff. One day we’ll all be gone from this earth, but hopefully not ever truly forgotten.
The column represents the thoughts and opinions ofAlan Shoalmire. Opinion columns are NOT the opinion of the Navasota Examiner.
Alan Shoalmire is a resident in Grimes County and the owner of Grill Sergeant Hotdogs and submits a column to the Navasota Examiner every other week.