The great “frittering” debate, it’s all about time
Connie’s Corner
In April I wrote a column about the sometimes, absurd late-night telephone conversations I have with my gentleman friend and our discussion on the nuances of piddling, puttering and dillydallying. Well, we’ve graduated to absurdity in the daytime. On this past rainy, and what felt like a subzero temperature Veterans Day Monday, I found myself in the position of having to provide him with a little TLC - another Texas Language Class. This time it was about “frittering,” an inactive state in which I was engaged, and about which my opinion has changed over the course of time.
What exactly is frittering? Let’s just say that a little Georgia influence on my friend’s Missouri-Maine roots, and the diet he’s currently on, brought food to his mind. I’m talking about the verb that Merriam-Webster defines as “to spend or waste bit by bit, on trifles or without commensurate return —usually used with away.”
I haven’t always considered frittering a waste of time. Back in the day, I had a full-time job and responsibilities. While working in a psychiatric and substance abuse facility just shy of 10 years, staff tended to refer to personal leave days as “mental health days,” and that term stuck with me throughout my work career. When I took a mental health day, I had absolutely no qualms or guilt about staying in my pajamas, sans makeup, all day long. I frittered away the day with abandon! My husband was at work. My children were at school and in the days before cellphones, email and text messaging, there was no “grid” to go off. I could really rejuvenate mind and body frittering away the day. So, what has caused this shift in my thinking from frittering as healthy to guilt-laden disgust when I engage in it? The answer for me is – life happened.
As I lay like a disheveled slug in my recliner talking with my friend (with “Midsomer Murder” paused), I was not feeling rejuvenated by this day of nothing to do and nowhere to be, this day of unfettered frittering. I’m not sure if it’s the aftereffects of 40-plus years of employment, widowhood or both, but if I don’t have some place to be, or a project to tackle, and fritter away the day, I feel like I have wasted precious time. While frittering, I threw away a day in my life that I will never get back and with nothing to show for it.
When you’re young, to fritter a day here or there is inconsequential. Our minds have been spared from seeing too far into the future, so we live as if we have “forever.” But in my seventh decade of life, time is a precious commodity to be used wisely. Frittering has gone from a mental health day to a mental unhealthy day because the state of good health for me and most people my age is to actively engage our faculties and to feel like we have purpose and a reason to get out of bed. When the sun came out Tuesday morning and my calendar confirmed that I had things to do and places to be, that is when I felt rejuvenated.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the “morning after the day before” effect of frittering, sort of a frittering hangover. That my friends, is the residual guilt from NOT doing something you could or should have done instead of frittering – something like cleaning the house or reorganizing a closet.
After our absurd, extended telephone bantering, my friend and I agreed to disagree about the value of frittering. In his eighth decade, he views it almost as a necessity. But be it fulltime or intermittent frittering, or living life fritter-free, the point is to spend your time doing that which provides peace of mind, a sense of purpose and fulfillment to YOUR life.
Connie Clements is a freelance reporter and award-winning columnist. She writes feature news articles on a weekly basis and an opinion column as the mood strikes her.